I have made some calls today. I am having a physical on Monday morning, I am going to see a nutritionist in July (the soonest appointment I could get). And I have a message in to a therapist to have a consultation and maybe start counseling.
I have needed to do this for so long. But for whatever reason, I thought I was a big girl and could do this by myself. Or maybe it is just another by product of my depression, feeling so worthless that I didn't even have the energy, strength, or desire to make these calls on my own behalf.
I am tired of scraping by. I'm tired of not trusting myself, not loving myself, and not treating myself well. I have wasted so much time being this way. (and I don't just mean overweight)... I am tired of running away from myself... avoiding my issues and hiding. I can try any diet/exercise plan in the world, and it won't work or help me until I get my mind right. Hence the counseling. The nutritionist will help me have a healthy vegetarian diet, and the physical will tell me just how far I have fallen, and how much work I need to do to get back up to par. And also so my heart doesn't explode from me overestimating my fitnes level. :p
I have the summer off from school. Only gonna be working. Must make the most of this time so I can be in a better place when school resumes.