Monday, December 28, 2009

Holiday Lull

So of course, the holidays derailed my eating habits a little, but not as bad as it has in years past. My sister sent me my very most favorite iced sugar cookies for a treat, and I ate the lion's share of them. Our neighbors also brought over a custard pie type thing that had tons of fruit on top. I had a couple of pieces, but then mostly just been picking the fruit off the top.

The exercise quotient continues to be the hardest part of this plan to implement. I just can't seem to motivate enough to be consistent with it. :( There are a number of things at play here, I know. I have gotten so ridiculously out of shape, the idea of working out and finding out just how far my physical health has deteriorated is a bit scary to me. So I just sit and think, I'll exercse tomorrow! Or something along those lines.

I know that what it boils down to is me deciding that I am worth all of the effort it's going to take to get back into shape and to lose the weight I have accumulated. I struggle with this as much now as I ever did. My coping skill from childhood has been to run away from the unpleasant, scary, etc. I would retreat into fantasy lands, and bury myself in books in my room, when I was little, and now, I just wish things were different, or wish I was someone else. Not the most productive line of thinking, really, and I am logically aware of this... but old patterns are hard to break...and again, at the root of things, it amounts to a self worth issue.

I have to find the things about myself that I like. I have to convince myself that I need to make myself as awesome on the outside as the inside... easy to say, but not so easy to believe...

Until I tie in the exercise, I won't lose more than a pound here and a half pound there...

I guess it's time to really write those affirmations out and post them around.

Maybe I'll try to do a journal entry about how many kinds of awesome I am, so I can come back to it and read it when I am plagued with those feelings and my overactive self deprecation.

Friday, December 18, 2009

An Observation

I had a thought a few days ago, to adapt my food choices to my style of eating. Probably not a new or novel idea, and not unheard of, but it's one I had, as yet never tried.

I am not a "meal" person. It is rare that I can sit down and eat "3 squares" a day. Honestly, I just kind of graze all day, and then eat a full dinner. So I have made this adaptation:

I eat something in the morning, usually a cup of oatmeal, and then I just pack a random assortment of things to snack on. I've been mixing Quaker granola clusters (with raisins and sliced almonds in), almonds, and either Chex cereal or peanuts, and munching on that. I also have been taking baby carrots, raw broccoli, some tomato soup, etc. and eating that off and on throughout the day. I am drinking the Ocean Spray powdered mix that you add to your water bottle, in various flavors, and thus increasing my water intake.

I have noticed that I am staying satisfied longer, which surprises me because it is not, in the traditional sense at least, a full meal, and things seem to be moving more smoothly in general.

I am not fully vegan yet, but I'm getting there. We were tired last night and we did order in some pizza, and since I was sharing with my kiddo, I didn't hold the cheese, but aside from that, I've been pretty good.

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost about 1 1/2 pounnds, which is ok, considering that I haven't really exercised much yet, thanks to my angry knee. It is getting better now, still some twinges with stairs, but not as bad as it used to be. I may try to work out this weekend and see how it goes.

It's kind of funny that most of what I eat now is raw food, fruits/veggies. The nuts are roasted, but not salted, it's pretty healthy stuff compared to what I've been eating before.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Food journal entry

Tuesday December 15,
maple brown sugar oatmeal
8 oz of flavored water (sugar free crystal light-esque drink mix).

"trail mix" consisting of granola clusters with raisins, almonds, and wheat chex (1 cup)
1 medium sized granny smith apple.

1 bowl frosted mini wheats

Dinner and evening snack have not been consumed yet.

Knee is still swollen, no cardio today. :(

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Evening Update

We ended up going out and stirring around today. We walked around Target and the mall as we finished up our shopping. We had dinner at the Food Court, but there was a place similar to Chipotle where I got some dinner. A burrito with brown rice, black beans, grilled veggies (yellow squash, red peppers and onions) and jalapeno's . Vegan! I went all day without eating any animal products. :)

I've ordered a vegan slow cooker recipe book and a book about veganism (a resource book if you will) to help me do this vegan thing right. I wanted to get the book I'm reading, but it is out of print and the 2nd edition is forthcoming, so I will snag that one when it comes out.

Still working on getting the knee back to normal.

Morning update...

Knee is still puffy, but will still try to walk on a treadmill or something today. I have no trouble walking, but climbing stairs still hurts, but not as bad. I think a treadmill, even with an incline are probably ok. I am only really concerned with the higher speed, as 4.0 is a slow jog for me, not sure if that will be too jarring, or not. We'll see I guess.

After a rare night out with my husband, I made two interesting discoveries. Taco Bell has a new burrito called the Fresco Bean Burrito, and I was pleased to find out that it is a bean burrito with no cheese. It is beans mixed with pico de gallo (tomatoes, onions and cilantro chopped finely.) The book I'm reading on veganism had a section on fast food options for road trips, and they said that a bean burrito from Taco Bell sans the cheese is vegan, so I was pleased to find a burrito that I can order without making any modifications. :)

The other thing was that as we were winding down from our night out, we had the TV on and there was an infomercial for a workout called P90X, which is a pretty intense and extreme workout that combines different routines to confuse the muscles and keep the body from plateauing. It promises visible results in as little as a week. It's an hour a day. I'm soooooo tempted. The exercises reminded me of the ones you talk about doing for Crossfit, Robin... so I'm curious. There's pull ups, plyometrics, ab exercises, yoga, and Kenpo (a martial arts style) in various phases. The only thing I foresee as being a major problem, is the protein intake. The nutrition plan is pretty heavy on the proteins at first, and gradually introduces complex carbs and such. I want to do this, but can I do it with a vegan diet. I guess I need to do some research about protein types and such. I'm sure there are vegan athletes, but I'm dipped if I know how to find that info.

The other consideration is that I think I should maybe start that program when I'm in better physical shape than I am at present. I'm thinking if I started this too soon, I'd probably puke and/or collapse. I dug around online (the product is sold by a group called beachbody) and read lots of reviews about it, and they all seemed to be very positive. The dvd's are kinda spendy though, so I hesitate... I don't want to buy them only to not be able to hack it and have them gather dust on the shelves. I feel pretty good about it now...but isn't that usually how this stuff works? :-P It's a set of 12 dvd's for $130. Which when you break it down, is still cheaper than a gym membership, a personal trainer, exercise equipment, and evens out, in terms of buying exercise dvd's, to being about $10 per dvd. So I am sorely tempted. *sigh*

So this morning's food intake- 1 packet of Quaker instant oatmeal, 16 ounces of calcium enriched OJ (Tropicana), and 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with vegan margarine (Earth Balance brand). I also am sipping on a 16 oz cup of coffee with non dairy creamer and a tsp. of Splenda. So that's a handy bit of info when I'm travelling and there's no Chipotle nearby. :)

P90X site

I am looking through reviews of this product, and will post links to those...

sorely tempted. It has a 90 day money back guarantee, too... so if I am diligent, try it and hate it, I can return it for a refund. *pondering*

Friday, December 11, 2009


I am having a knee problem. My right knee is puffy and swollen (not terribly bad, but definitely noticeable), and walking is ok, but going up and down stairs hurrrrts!!! :( And I have to go up an downstairs a lot...both at home and at work.

I took some ibuprofen, and I'm going to try to stay off it/away from stairs, and see if it gets better. I didn't do anything to it, that I can recall. But I've been having this problem off and on over the past few months. I am wondering if it's because of the weight I'm carrying is finally getting to me, or what.

Still trying to eat well. I had some frosted mini wheats for breakkie, tomato soup and an apple for lunch, more cereal when I got home for a snack, next time I feel peckish I'll probably have some chopped veggies or something, maybe some nuts. I'm feelin' some spinach artichoke dip, too. Not sure about dinner yet.

I guess I'll give cardio a break until my knee sorts out, but I'll do some strength stuff to work my arm muscles and leg muscles (but not weight bearing stuff).

I'm a little disorganized right now, also getting school stuff in order, but I will settle into a groove with this soon, I hope.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Aaaaaand, ACTION!

Today's food intake....
Breakfast was Quaker Instant Oatmeal- Maple/Brown sugar flavored, and a cup of coffee.

Lunch was red beans and rice, and a banana, and a soda.

I snacked on baby carrots and a baggie of roasted, but unsalted almonds and peanuts.

Dinner was a sandwich, tortilla chips and homemade salsa, and it was the last meal I ate.

I haven't had anything but water since then.


I did a half hour of interval cardio on my treadmill. It was a pre-set weight loss program that takes you gradually up to 4.0 mph and back down to 2.0 in 30 second intervals. I wasn't able to get up this morning to do it... I couldn't yank myself out of bed, so I did it while I watched The Biggest Loser Finale.

So it begins. it felt good to actually do something. My daughter was on the Gazelle while I was on the treadmill, and my husband actually took a turn on the treadmill tonight too.

Hopefully I can keep this going. I will blog more tomorrow.

Monday, December 7, 2009

"It'sThe Deep Breath Before the Plunge..."

Nothing much to report today. After all the planning and goal setting and blogging, I didn't get a chance to workout this morning, and I've been utterly exhausted all day today. I don't think the sleep I got was the quality stuff. I will be turning in soon, and I plan to get up at 6am to work out. URGH!!! Not looking forward to that at all! :( I'm thinking some interval cardio on the treadmill will be the best way to start off, very monotonous, not much coordination required. I won't fall down and die trying to do yoga poses or tae bo moves! lol

Foodwise, unremarkable also. I am taking the Scarlett O'Hara approach: "Fiddle dee dee, tomorrow is another day!"

One more thing to add to my Diet Plan, (and by diet, I mean my nutritional diet, as I'm not going to do any fad dieting or anything) is to not eat anything after...oh... 8pm. I think that's reasonable, with the expectation I'll be turning in around 10 or 10:30 at night. I'm a night owl, so trying to go to bed earlier than 11:30 will be hard at first, but I have to do it to get a full 8 hours of sleep, or close to it. So I guess I can stock up on sugarless gum to try to curb the snack cravings, because yes, for deep sedation or general anesthesia, gum counts as food.... but otherwise, it is fair game, methinks! :)

I have some True Lemon crystals to add to water if I need to have some flavor there, because I really need to up my water intake.... but I'm just not a thirsty person. I don't drink 8 glasses of ANYTHING in a day, much less water! :-P

So tomorrow, planning ends, action begins!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Getting Started

The wave of energy I was riding just prior to and during my trip to San Francisco crested and died. I am strugling with some intense mood swings. In an attempt to kick start myslf and push through this period ofennui, it is time to put fingers to keys and map this shit out.
First point to ponder:


1. I want to be healthy. No more CPAP machine!!! (I really hate that thing). No more worry about rising blood pressure/stroke/heart disease/diabetes due to obesity. I have not as yet been diagnosed with any of this stuff, but I am flirting with it, I'm sure. NO MORE FEELING WEAK/OLD!!!

2. I want to be a good influence. As a fuure nurse, I want to be ableto give my patients the bst care (no struggling through my own physical limitations). Also as a good example to those around me. I want to lead by example, I want my daughter to learn healthy habits.

3. I want to feel good about myself again. I want to look at myself in the mirror and in phots and not feel negative emotions. I want to be confident enough to actually *want* my picture taken and e proud of myappearance. Ian to earcute clothes, like knee boots and skinny jeans, and I haven't worn skirts or dresses in years.

4. want to b noticed, approached, soght after. I oftebemoan the fact that I have so few friends, maybe thats because of my appearance, and the negative emotions I currently feel about it.

5. I wat musle toe and definitin. I thinkalittl bitof definition is hot on both genders. Not professional body builder type definition, mind you... but ome delineation, particularly abs, is attractive.

6. I have enough to worry about, plenty of stress without the continual weight obsession I've lived with for nearly 15 years now.


1. I will do sme form of cardio 5 of 7 days- Wii fit, treadmill, Gazelle, workout dvd's (I have a ton of them!!!!) Starting at 30- 45 minutes per session.

2. Strength training 3x a week, 30-45 minutes per session to start.

3. Wil increase intensity as fitness level increases.

4. Due to a recent change in my work schedule, I can fit a morning workout in before leaving on most mornings. When nursing school starts, of course, my workout schedule will be revised.


1. Eliminate refined sugars from diet. I am a sugar ADDICT!! Will keep sugar out of the house as much as possible until I can learn to control my binge-ing urges. (This is so true... some friends brought over cookies for the kids when they came to hang out with us last night... and I've been unable to leave them alone.... :-P)

2. I will drink more water, find a water bottle, keep it close by and full.

3. Healthy snacks- more fruits and veggies, whn I want t graze.

4. Time to Vegan again! Cut out eggs/dairy. I felt really good when I was on a vegan diet before. So energetic and my mind was clear and sharp.

5. Not becoming a junk food/soy dependent vegan. I have a bunch of vegan cookbooks that have bean based and other protein sources.

6. Find and regularly take vitamin supplements... vegetarian formula multi-vitamins. (B-12 supplements.. and I also could use some extra Vitamin D thanks to where I live. )

7. Food journal to document foods eaten in day and eyeball calorie counts.

8. Figure out calorie allottments and daily needs, and use this as a guide for meal planning. I don't want to be a calorie Nazi, but I don't want to be too far above or below those allottments.


Mine is minimal. Most support expressed by people who are not local. This led to the idea of setting up this blog. I welcome anyone who wants to join in here. Please suggest recipe ideas/websites, exercise routines, although I am not able to afford a gym membership/personal trainer at this time, so bear that in mind, please. :) I may have access to gym facilities at PLU though... *fingers crosssed*

I am still hoping to try to find some local exercise buddies though, who might be willing to walk with me or workout in the basesment to the dvd's I have amassed. I may pull rank on my kid to get her to work out with me, and I would like my husband to work out with me also, but interest from both parties is minimal to nonexistant. I want to get a dog because she would be the best walking buddy evar!!! I want a little Boston terrier or a puglet. Maybe Santa will bring me one. ;)

For the most part I am my own support system. So I should come up with strategies.

1. Post motivation/reasons in prominent place(s) in the house. These will be good to see when I hit a wall, or have a rough emotional day.

2. Look through magazines and catalogues fr pictures of cute clothes I want to fit into, te type of physique I want to have, and make a scrapbook to flip through to remind myself of my goals.

3. Remember that it's NOT an all or nothing process. If I go overbudget on calories, it's not the end of the world.

4. And on the flip side of #3, if I am diligent about exercise it isn't an excuse to fudge on calories and overindulge....

5. Do some swaps/find some "cheats" that are a compromise so as not to feel trapped by diet and food choices.

6. Research local organic growers to see if we can get local grown organic fruits/veggies year round, since our farmers market is seasonal.

7. Take a before picture and post it, and take photos at milestone weight loss points, because it will be fun to watch my body shrink and change as the fat goes and the muscle grows... which will be further motivation to keep it up.

8. Get gear for oudoors running/walking rain or shine. That way I can get outside or stay inside...but I'm not just trapped inside. I would also love to get a trail or mountain bike. Maybe Santa will hook me up here, too! ;)


I am Gigi. I am 39 years old, soon to be 40. I am a nursing student, a wife, mother, and woman. Not necessarily in that order though. I am also overweight. I am 5 feet 10 inches tall and weigh 240 pounds.

When I was young, I was blessed with a very fast metabolism, although at times it seemed also like it was a curse. I could, and did, eat whatever I wanted to, and gained weight. I was freakishly tall, reaching my full height at age 12 or 13, and barely weighed 100 pounds. At the time I met the man I would later marry, I weighed maybe 125 pounds. I used to take a lot of crap and get teased for being too skinny.

Sometime around the age of 25-26, though... my metabolism didn't just slow down, it seems to have exhausted itself and come to a complete stop. As the years passed and my physical activity levels decreased, although I *never* really exercised per se, the weight started to pack on. I had a brief moment, around the time of the birth of my daughter 10 years (and some change) ago, where I was at my optimum weight... around 150-165 pounds, but the weight kept coming, with each new decade, each new stressful situation, crisis, etc, taking its toll.

So here I sit now, nearly 100 pounds above that ideal weight. I am noticing all of the aches and pains that come with getting older, and also with being overweight, and I don't like what I am becoming. I am also about to start nursing school, and I feel like a hypocrite for working as a health professional, yet living so unhealthily myself. The time has come to stop whining about it, to do more than lament the fact that I have gotten fat. It is time to act.

This blog is a part of that. I plan to use this blog to help me lose weight, and become healthy again. Entries in here will be to document various things. I will document any and all exercises and workouts that I do, I will document the foods that I eat, and if I have a recipe that I particularly like... I may post it as well. I will also most likely document my emotional state. How I am feeling about various aspects of this attempt to get my life and health back, maybe trying to talk myself out of being sad, scared, or discouraged. And of course I hope to have entries about how great I am feeling as the pounds go away and my confidence appears.

I am very serious about this... I'd like to have lost a chunk of weight... maybe 10-15 pounds by the time I start school, and to continue to lose as I go through nursing school. My end goal is to be at the weight I was when my daughter Sophia was born... around 160 pounds. That's a total weight loss of about 80 pounds... *gulp*

It's a long haul, and seeing such a large damn number is pretty discouraging in and of itself. But I am going to do my damndest to make it happen.