D Is for Discipline....

I had an epiphany day before yesterday. It struck my awareness in a way nothing else has so far. I was sitting on my big overstuffed study chair reading my textbook, when I was struck with a massive craving for ice cream. I mean a SERIOUS jones. Like a smoker has for a cigarette! I have never experienced that before, and it caught me off guard. I chewed a piece of sugar free gum, which helped. I did end up succumbing to the call of the ice cream bar a few hours later though. Honestly though, I think that's the first time that I actually tested myself... Usually when I feel hungry or crave something, I eat it. I have never really actively tried to ignore my cravings. Which surely is a big part of why I'm in the shape I'm in now. I never realized just how MUCH of a hold food had on me.

That woke me up. My schedule has changed, I have more time to crack down and be hardcore about it. I woke up this morning and had a nutritious breakfast. I have only had coffee (in the morning) and water to drink today. I want to quit soda pop altogether. I had a Dr. Pepper yesterday, and that will be my last one!!! I need to find other substitues for the bubbles... maybe seltzer water or mineral/sparkling water will do? I will miss the bubbles so much! :( I have had fruits and veggies all day and I worked out on the treadmill for 45 minutes. Thank heavens I had a Nine Inch Nails concert video to distract me. My patho book didn't fit on the treadmill, and my mp3 was dead... :p but Trent Reznor and company on TV got me through it. The last 15 minutes were tough... I wanted to quit, but I didn't. I finished. I want to ride the success of today for a while.

I feel good. Maybe it's because I'm back in school and feel like I'm working towards something scholastically, so now working towards something personally is a good fit right now. It may be that I'm just tired of being overweight, tired of being upset about being overweight, time to put up or shut up. I will need a new sports bra though... the ones I have SUUUUCK! The girls were smashed but not supported... they still bounced painfully. :( (yeah yeah, TMI, I know :-P ) .

I found a calorie count site online that I like so far.... although some of the calorie counts are off or differ, so I'm keeping a paper food diary too, starting today. My daily caloric intake for weight loss is 1500 calories a day, so I am busting out with the measuring cups and spoons, and the food scale. Will try to drink water mainly, so I'm not adding calories with beverages. I'm guessing that trimming the 500 calories alone will help, but I guess with regular activity that will help too... I am just puzzled about it because the analysis section says that net calories should be a negative number, but I don't see how that's possible without doing 4-5 hour workouts a la Biggest Loser.
:-P The website is calorie count : www.caloriecount.about.com

Speaking of Biggest Loser, it's about to start up again. I am an avid watcher, this season I will workout while I watch and see if I can lose along with them. I'd really like to see a vegetarian contestant on that show. I'm so tired of all the diet/fitness/nutrition "experts" saying that you have to eat animal products to have adequate protein intake. I refuse to compromise on this point, and there has never been any positive role models or feedback for vegetarian/vegan athletes. Or am I just not looking hard enough? Hell, I'd do it myself... I'd audition so I could be the one (unless they have a no veggies rule up front), public humiliation be damned, if it would help matters! :p But school is my other big priority along with my own personal health.

I have quit smoking, I am feeling pretty good about things. I know I sound like the girl who cried wolf by now with all of these "I'm gonna do it!!!" entries... but I really think this will stick. I just have a feeling.

So D is for Discipline, I'm trying to clean house, in a manner of speaking. Clearing clutter, keeping things in order, and now trying to get back to my healthy beautiful self.